The Fifties had their ‘Teddy Boys’,
All decades have their legacies,
But if you want to ‘Feel The Noize’,
‘Cum On’, back with me, to the Seventies!

We had the radio (which some of us still called ‘wireless’),
Cassettes and Walkmans, though, a fast incoming bevy;
When they unspooled, and ran amok, they made a right mess
And ‘downloads’? A command, ‘Drop what’s too heavy’

Rod Stewart had a right inspiring decade,
Told of Georgie, sailors and of Maggie May,
‘Atlantic Crossing’ left him mega-rich and well paid,
He took up with Britt, then sent her on her way

There were no girl bands, only us ‘chaps and fellows’,
Elvis Presley died, and there were no ‘Pretenders’,
‘Cos you can’t just count the name (Elvis Costello,
Who was working to his own new wave agenda)

Gilbert O’Sullivan, from Ireland, wrote a song to his ‘niece’, ‘Clair’,
Leo Sayer took to several different trends,
Newton-John and John Travolta made a great duetting pair,
Gary Numan sang about electric friends

There was every kind of new and old chart topper,
Art Garfunkel, Clive Dunn, Mud and Kiki Dee,
And those who bought most discs, the ‘Teeny-boppers’,
Fans of the Osmonds, and of David Cassidy

The Midlands bred The Specials, all from Coventry,
Noddy Holder – Walsall, Slade – from Wolverhampton
(Started out as skinheads, then became ‘pop gentry’),
Peter Frampton, though, I don’t think came from Frampton…

Many singers just ploughed through, all the decades, old and new,
A particular one you’d never be able to cite
As theirs; say, like Hot Chocolate, Dr Hook, to name but two,
Stevie Wonder, and the wonderful Gladys Knight

Barry, Robin, Maurice, known as the Gibb family,
Who sang as Bee Gees, and who flashed teeth like a beaver,
Had split up once, and so it was a ‘Tragedy’
They should all, at once, succumb, and get ‘Night Fever’

Bee Gees apart, I think I’m stuck,
I’m casting round for someone with big molars,
But I’ve drawn a blank, it’s just my luck,
No better rhyme to go with ‘Bay City Rollers’

Let’s go through the decade quickly just by numbers –
‘Big Six’, ‘Big Seven’, ‘Big Eight’, banned, full of sleaze;
‘Two Tone’, two Carpenters (though zero plumbers),
Five Jacksons, and Four Tops, and Three Degrees

Our lyrics and our language we’d perfected,
Rap, with its silent ‘C’, was nonsense speak,
Plain speaking terms were what we still expected,
Like ‘Boogie Oogie’, ‘Oo-Oo-Oo’ and ‘Chirpy Cheep Cheep’

Demis Roussos’ visual image was a rum one,
But he had all the women screaming (for a fat man);
To get that famous high-pitched voice he, course, had someone
Sat squeezing tightly both his balls beneath his kaftan

Earth, Wind and Fire cut no corners letting things rip,
Their dance routines a feature of their show,
Much like the massive, neon, day glow spaceship
That accompanied on stage Brum’s ELO

We had ‘Tiger Feet’, although our shoes would still fit,
And Bob Geldof brought along his Boomtown Rats,
There was Chas and Dave, who used to ‘Rabbit, rabbit’,
But we hadn’t yet got round to Webber’s ‘Cats’

Isolated odds ‘n sods just keep on coming,
Alice Cooper was a man, satanic, dark;
And the one in Mud they’d dress up like a woman,
And my own great fave, the keyboard player in Sparks

Promo films accompanying records had arrived,
They’d barely touched on video, so lots of crap to see;
Ironic Queen produced in nineteen seventy-five
The most iconic of all time, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

That song apart, which ones still stay today
In all our heads, and just have never gone?
Top 3? Well, ‘Dancing Queen’, ‘YMCA’,
And Slade wishing ‘Merry Christmas’ to everyone

Before I finish things, I think that I shall round up
Any others I’ve omitted to repeat;
The Commodores, Michael Jackson (boy and grown-up),
Diana Ross, Little Jimmy Osmond and The Sweet

So…if you can call to mind just the one or two of these,
Whose stars came out, then flickered, and then faded,
For all the rheumatism you say you now have in both knees,
Your memory’s still quite good, it’s not that jaded!

Oh, what a bummer,
I’ve forgotten…Donna Summer

Bugger it, too,
I missed out…The Who

Forgive me, please,
I’ve left out…Squeeze